Prompt: Inexistent
by Ngoc Chau
Summary: The backs of their hands touched, knuckles were brushed. And yet neither could not bring themselves to grasp the other's hand. Some things should not even occur. Mayuri x Nemu if you squint, part 9 of 12 of Proposal, Filler fic with Kurotsuchi gikons/gais


**Ngoc Chau does not own Bleach.**

**Okay, so this is a continuation from Excuse. Mayuri and Nemu have now made it to the real world and are going data-collecting and also hollow-hunting, though not with exactly pure intentions. Of course, they also have their soul candy to watch over their gigais for them while they work. M is of course Mayuri's custom gikon and N is Nemu's custom gikon. **

**At first, I had tried to research Japanese names that could be symbolic for M and N, until I thought "What the hell are you thinking, Ngoc Chau? Why would Mayuri give names like these to gikons? Screw that! Just go with their first initial to make things easier!" And so came to be M and N. Who knows, they could appear in another fic sometime in the future. **

**Um.. this is more or less a filler to replace Consideration, which I had deleted. I want this string to have a total of 12 prompts to go with the 'romance' of the TWELFTH division. So yeah... pretty dumb, but oh well. **

**Anyway, the point of this fanfic, as well as being a filler, is probably supposed to be analogous to the romance of Mayuri and Nemu. Mayuri and Nemu are not supposed to fall in love because of their universe's circumstances. M and N are not supposed to fall in love, much like two robots should not fall in love(I was inspired by Clamp's Chobits where Dita and Zima fell in love - the two of them were government persocoms). **

**So this is pretty bittersweet, hopefully. I don't know. I've been reading a lot of yaoi and lolicon manga(Kodomo no Jikan is pretty good) and so I've been getting into the mood of angst. **

**Enough rambling from me, please enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Prompt: Inexistent<strong>

"Thank you, M-san, for saving me." N said to her suited companion sitting next to her on the low stone wall.

Their captain and lieutenant had summoned them up from their pockets to watch over the gigais as the two of them hunted after the Hollow, determined to at least take back a living souvenir from this once-in-a-century trip. M and N had left the premises and came to a more secluded area hidden by trees and dead ends. It was a quiet neighbourhood, all the inhabitants old citizens and so were frequent to stay inside and sleep the day away as much as the nights.

M, emotionless despite wearing the skin of a mad-man, replied almost forcefully as though it was more to himself that he was speaking to, "It was not my intention to save you. Kurotsuchi-taicho would have me destroyed if I simply stood by and allowed damage to any of these gigais."

N looked to M, her false green eyes focusing like camera lens on him only, "You did not have any need to hold my hand while we ran."

He returned her gaze with wide golden eyes, reflecting her image within, "I had to make sure that any part of you would not be damaged. The Hollow had been very animalistic and I could not take chances on how far its destruction to the area would extend to."

Though her face did not change, a blush grew upon her cheeks. N confessed truthfully to him. "M-san, it will surely sound impulsive to you, but I believe that I have fallen in love with you."

A blush grew on his face as well and he did not scowl. His hand gingerly rose up to brush N's face, the tips tickling the hill of her cheeks. "You are mistaken. This is not in our programming. We cannot love. Our objective is only to serve the taicho and fukutaicho."

Her hand closed over his and she moved her lips to the base of his palm, "M-san. It is hard to explain, but I know that what I feel is love. When you are close to me, my breathing becomes difficult. My limbs grow warmer in your presence. I want nothing more of each day than to have you look my way. I-"

M's thumb brushed up to her bottom lip, silencing N. His head tilted and, to N, he looked utterly helpless. "We cannot feel. Our kind does not feel anything, not like the humans or shinigami, not even like the hollows. We are different even from the fukutaicho. Her creation is an ultimate product as it has allowed her to evolve from what we are, to act outside orthodox programming for us gikons. She has a choice in her actions, in her words, in her own emotions... We, we do not have any choice; we act accordingly to what our program dictates. This cannot _be_ between us."

His hands left her. Her face tilted downwards, the black fringe coming close to the chin of the captain's gigai. Her voice was sweet and bitter all at once, a sort of melancholy that evoked pity from the listener. "Is it then impossible for the false-being to know what differentiates beasts from man, to know just what is this thing, called love?"

"Yes." M stated so matter of fact-ly. His answer sounded so absolute yet it was unbelievable.

Her head fell onto him to rest just beneath his chin. The sailor fuku made the action all the more adorable. "I have only known you for four days, M-san. And I feel that I would not like to see you hurt." she informed of him.

His breathing was oddly steady and so was hers, despite the turmoil of feelings that were spinning round and sparking in the air. "Do not say things like that." He told her, though he did not push her away. His hands remained at his sides.

"Why?" she asked, breathing into M's collarbone.

He felt shivers travel throughout him. It overwhelmed him. The SDRI did not prepare him for this and neither did his programming. What to do in such a situation, he wondered.  
>He warned her, "We would be destroyed for acting outside our program. That would mean we're malfunctioning, broken, useless…." His words trailed off as N's hands gripped the dark violet tie.<p>

"And you fear for your self-preservation?" she inquired. A breathiness was about her and her words had a sense of hope in it that she wanted to hear another answer besides the one that her programming was indicating to her. The hope that he was 'different' held out.

"Yes." he told her and she winced inwardly.

The corner of her mouth rose and then dropped. She 'humph-ed'. "How odd would it be if two beings, who should not fall in love, fall in love with another…"

He stood up and looked like he was about to pace, though his legs resisted the notion. The action had been abrupt for N who stumbled onto her hands where M had been seated. The raven braid fell over her shoulder.

"Please, do not say anymore, N-san." he begged of her, his voice both cold and caring.

She looked up at him with borrowed eyes.

This is not what N looks like, M told himself. N and I are incapable of expression. M was not M. N was not N. M was not Mayuri either as N was not Nemu either. What were M and N. How can we be what we are, M thought.

"Why not?" she asked, the parting of lips small.

He looked around as though watching out and directed his attentions to her, "Because someone could hear us."

N stood up alongside M. her hand so close to his but they did not touch. "How do you feel about me, M-san?" she asked.

He turned away his head much like in frustration and admitted to the best of his abilities, "I cannot explain what I do not know."

She moved to the front of him and pointed a long index finger to his chest. "This." It was in the general area of his heart. "Does this beat faster when I am with you?" she interviewed. Her eyes softened as she tilted her head and the tip of the digit poked him, "Would you see me destroyed for continuing this?"

He stepped back away from her and her finger recoiled to her closed hand. He earnestly told her, "It is because I do not want to see you destroyed that I tell you to not continue this, to silence yourself even if they torture you… I do not want you gone from this world. Even if I cannot love you like any other being, I would be satisfied to know that you exist."  
>M tried to conjure up a smile, he was sure he was smiling, but Reader, it would hardly be noticed.<p>

"What a terrible choice…" N said to him, stepping close to him, but keeping her hands behind her back to not touch him again and frighten him.

"We are below the hollows. Our destruction is hardly significant." he explained to her the harshness of their reality of what it meant to be an artificial being.  
>How strange was it that if another soul could walk and talk and perceive as any other soul could, it would only be deemed inferior if it had an origin that could be explained. Real souls are not created. Real souls are simply born and become.<p>

"If M-san is destroyed, then N-san will beg them to destroy her too." N told him in a childish manner.

"N-san…" he uttered, though it was not his obvious intention to say her 'name'.

"An existence without M-san is not worth having." she repeated his thought to him.

They were so close. If she stood on her toes then their lips would join and only verify their mutual affection for one another. But he would not have it, would not believe it because he wanted to live. And she would not be so cruel to him as to force it.

"Please, N-san." M begged, "Be quiet. Do not speak of this. When we return to the Soul Society, we will be put away on shelves, never likely again to meet. Do not speak of this and risk termination."

She took a step back, smiling. Her eyes almost red and puffy yet no tears were shed. "Like you had said: an existence is enough… I will not be so selfish to expect more in my own existence…"

There was suddenly a tell-tale chill that went through them and the sudden heaviness in the air from boastful spiritual pressure. They moved to some distance away from each other and looked to the source. It was Kurtosuchi Mayuri and his daughter, Kurotsuchi Nemu.

"You two didn't get into any trouble while Nemu and I were gone, did you?" he asked as his lieutenant followed closely behind him, a large tubular specimen jar cradled in her arms like a babe.  
>The jar was recognized by the two gikons to be one of the SDRI's many devices of soul-sealing. It can be said that the two of them inwardly shuddered at the sight of the poor soul swirling about in the cramped space of the jar; and their simultaneous thought was: Oh, we understand all too well.<p>

M replied to represent the two of them, "No, sir."

Mayuri looked giddily back at his prize and exclaimed that it was sheer luck that he had been able to procure a full-bring soul, what said beings had identified themselves by, and absolute euphoria to bring back to the soul society to experiment upon him. He informed the two, glowing with pride, that while he and Nemu had gone out to collect data on various spaces that the full-bring were known to occupy, they had happened by chance on a hollow attack.  
>They perhaps would've left the hollow as is, as long as the hollow did not disturb them, but when they were able to identify just what the Hollow's target was; then they felt it best for them to intervene. They had to be careful to wait for the perfect moment that the full-bring's soul would be forced out of his body and his chain of fate severed, yet not eaten by the Hollow. It had taken careful timing but they had done it. As soon as they heard the distinctive crack of the chain of fate, they rushed in to exterminate the Hollow.<br>But what was to be done for the poor full-bring? Come with us, he had told the poor whimpering soul. We come from the Soul Society as you are sadly deceased now and if you remain among the living any longer, more of the beasts that you had just seen here would devour you instantly or you might even transform into them.  
>The poor soul, young and inexperienced in life, had accepted Mayuri's hand.<br>He had not seen the jar coming towards him, could not expect that even Death might offer some dangers as Life often did. And so that was his fate now, to become a part of a great experiment in the name of science, Mayuri declared.

He was a little too happy with his 'treasure', the two gikons thought for afterwards he immediately offered them some freedom in exploring Karakura town. He and Nemu would be busy of course, organizing their finds for the day as well as preparing a specialty for the full-bring soul when they would bring it back to the Seireitei.  
>Though he was generous in his offer, he did provide a warning that if they did anything to his body that anything about him would be compromised, they both would surely be sorry and face excruciating punishment.<p>

Mayuri and Nemu walked through the brick walls surrounding the house, their entities growing smaller as though the wall was absorbing them. M and N kept their eyes upon the wall until they were sure that the two shinigami had left them both alone. M looked straight ahead. N's gaze went to both of their shoes, dusty and slightly crusted with light brown dirt.

They spoke nothing to each other, totally oblivious to what the other was thinking. Perhaps not…

The backs of their hands touched, knuckles were brushed.

And yet neither could not bring themselves to grasp the other's hand.

Some things should not even occur.

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><p><strong>So what did you think? Any comments or suggestions? If so, please leave it in a review or send it in a PM.<strong>


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